Sunday, 30 January 2011

Blessed In Aging~Esther Mary Walker  Blessed are they who understand
My faltering step and shaking hand

Blessed, who know my ears today
Must strain to hear the things they say.

Blessed are those who seem to know
My eyes are dim and my mind is slow

Blessed are those who look away
When I spilled tea that weary day.

Blessed are they who, with cheery smile
Stopped to chat for a little while

Blessed are they who know the way
To bring back memories of yesterday.

Blessed are those who never say
"You’ve told that story twice today"

Blessed are they who make it known
That I am loved, respected and not alone.

And blessed are they who will ease the days
Of my journey home, in loving ways.

This poem, as read by Mary Maxwell in the video "A Reminder That Laughter is the Best Medicine."
Take a look at her humurous talk below:

Monday, 24 January 2011

The British's generous humour

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter Scale has hit Pakistan.
Two million Pakistanis have died and over a million are injured.

The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock.
The USA is sending troops to help.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Latin American countries are sending medical supplies.
New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding infrastructure.
Australia is sending helicopter and wheat and other supplies.
Britain, not to be outdone, is sending two million Pakistanis as replacements...
God Bless British generosity.


A man is stopped by the police at midnight and asked where he's going.

"I'm on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body."

The policeman asks, "Really? And who's going to give a lecture at this time of night?

"My wife"

Sunday, 23 January 2011

Giving Up Wine

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
 'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.' 

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shoppinghair appointments, and wine.'

Sunday, 16 January 2011

Jabu's Black eye

Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye . After a while his  teacher got worried and asked him about it. Jabu's answer was: "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep On the same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Jabu are you sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a Black eye."
So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer". The following morning Jabu comes to school and his  eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief.

But the day after that Jabu comes back with a severe black eye again. "My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?" He tells her: "Mam, Dad asked me again, 'Jabu are you    sleeping?... and I shut up and kept dead still. Then my father and my mother started moving{you know} at the same time Mom was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a demented hyena on the bed"... Then my father asks my mother: 'Are you coming?' Then my mom says, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' and my dad answered 'Yes'. They don't usually go anywhere without me so i said 'Wait for me...

Monday, 3 January 2011

Punjabi stories

Knowledge of some Malay,  Hokkien & Cantonese would be useful. 

No racial intent ... no slur ... just some clean fun
  For  all you Baii  fans  !


Bhai-logy Lesson

Q: Why are there so many Sikh money changers in Singapore?
A: Because they like to deal in Singh dollars.

Q: Why do Sikhs make good shopkeepers
A: Because when you enter their shop to buy
 something,  you are the buyer;  which makes them the buyee.

Q: What do u call a Bhai who wants to make a U-turn?
A: Ke belakang-pu Singh 

Q: A Bhai with frequent headaches? 
A: Kepala pu Singh.

Q: What do you call a Bhai who drinks only beer?
A: Jasbir Singh
Q: What do you call a Bhai who drinks beer from a bulb?
A: Balbir Singh

Q: What is the study of young bhais?
A: Microbhailogy.

Q: What do you call a baby bhai?
A: Singh-let

Q: What was Mrs. Singh called when she posed for Playboy?
A:  Bohcheng Kaur

Q: What was Mrs. Singh called when she joined a Cantonese criminal  gang?
A: Tai Kaur

Q: Where do you find a Bhai doctor?
A: At Tantock Singh Hospital, S'pore.

Q: What do you call a Bhai who comes to visit you every three days?
A: Sarjit Singh

Q: What do you call a Bhai who's lost?
A: Miss Singh

Q: What do you call a Bhai who likes swimming in the cold?
A: Kuldip Singh

Q: What do you call a Bhai who lives between
 Singapore and Kuantan?
A: Mer Singh

Q: What do you call a Bhai who's the only one left?
A: Jaswant Singh

Q: What do you call a Bhai who's coming only tomorrow
A: Mahjit Singh

Q: What do you call a Bhai who likes Chinese herbs?
A: Gin Singh!

Q: What do you call a Bhai on a tightrope?
A: Balance Singh

Q: What is the official mode of transport for Sikhs?
A:  Bhaicycles

Q: What heart surgery procedure did Mr. Singh undergo?
A: A bhaipass.

Q: What do you call a Sikh who is covetous?
A: Gian Singh

Saturday, 1 January 2011

Just Passing Through

Just Passing Through

A Sikh was on his way to Khalsa Club when he decided
 to take a short-cut through somebody's garden. 

The Owner comes out angrily shouting :  Hey,  do you know you are trespassing?

Sikh answered : No, I'm Jas-par Singh.

Happy reading. 

Wishing you a good health.

James Oh
Good Manners

 During one of her classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked er her students the following question:
'Steven, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young
 lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Steven said,
 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

 The teacher responded by saying, '
 That would be rude and impolite.
 What about you 
Adam, how would you say it?'

Adam said,
 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'

 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the
 dinner table. And you, 
Smith, can you use your brains for once, and
 show us any good manners that you may have?'

 'I would say: Darling, please may I be excused for a moment?
 I have to shake hands with a very close friend of mine
 from down under, whom I hope to introduce to you, after dinner.'

 Teacher promptly fainted.