APPLE AND BILL IN HEAVEN

Bill Gates: “So, how’s heaven, Steve?” Steve Jobs: “Great ! It just doesn’t have any wall or fence.” 
Bill Gates: “So…?” Steve Jobs: “So, we don’t need any Windows and Gates. I’m sorry, Bill, I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Bill Gates: “It’s ok Steve, but I heard a rumor.” Steve Jobs: “Oh, what rumor?”
Bill Gates: “That nobody is allowed to touch Apple there, and there are no Jobs in heaven.” Steve Jobs : “Oh no, definitely there are, but only no-pay 
Jobs. Therefore definitely no Bill in heaven as everything will be provided free!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016

Hi Everyone, Time flies and in the next few hours, we will be welcoming a brand new year,2016. I would like to take this time and thank you. Thanks for the wonderful support you have given me in every aspect, also thanks the guidance and feedback in helping me to grow professionally. I believe that we will continue to work closely and achieve greater success in the new year. Lastly, I want to wish you and your family good health and good wealth. Happy New Year! James Oh Chief Valuation Creation Officer

How to effectively ask for a raise

IF YOU JUST DO WITHOUT THINKING

GROWTH = INPUT < OUTPUT

JUST FOR LAUGHS

JUST FOR LAUGHS;

An Indian Joke - Masterpiece!

After sorting through a stack of resumès he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and an Indian.

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked,

"What is the fastest thing you know?"

Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT”. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian.

"Hmm... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed”.

He then turned to George, the Australian, who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, Turning on a LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

Turning to the guy from India, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

He replied, (in his Indian accent!) "Apter herring da 3 prebius ansers sir, et's obius to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats...

"Oh, I can expleyn sir," said the Indian.

“You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was pheeling bad and so I run so fast to the baatrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I alredi done it !

"The Indian is now the new "Office Manager" at Wal-Mart in New Jersey.

Laughter is the Best Medicine😀😂

THE SMARTER DOG EVER

Joke of the day:
THE SMARTEST DOG EVER

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.
As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.
The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.
The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!"
The owner responds, "Genius, my ass. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"