Monday, 29 November 2010

Pure Mathematics 18 n 54 

   
 Hi you men out there use your Maths next time...................          
 
  
 A husband wrote the following letter to his wife and left it on the dining room table: 
“My Dear Wife, 

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. 
I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife. 
Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. 
Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight..” 
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: 
'My Dear Husband, 
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. 
I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. 
As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college... 
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students. 
He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Maths, you will understand that although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference: 
      18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.'
      Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow....... 
 

Saturday, 27 November 2010

(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr old girl.
On their first night both were crying...... ....Why?? ?
Because she didn't know anything and he had forgotten everything.

Sunday, 21 November 2010

(11) VIRGIN 
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A
VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN. The engraver shortened it to: '
RETURNED UNOPENED '

Friday, 19 November 2010

10) DENTIST

Woman complaining to dentist: 'It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby
than have a tooth removed.'


Dentist: 'Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly. '

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

(9)     GOOD AMBITION 
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Because its the only profession where u can tell a woman
to
take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

Friday, 12 November 2010

(8)     SWIMSUIT

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

Saturday, 6 November 2010

(7)   HAPPY MAN
 


What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.
Son on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of Playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of 'Missing Persons'