SEEING IS DECEIVING

HOW FUN ARE YOU?

FINE MEAL AT BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.

Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".

The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.

The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"

Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"

SMART INVESTMENT

A Singapore millionaire, William, secretly maintained a mistress in Hong Kong , bought a posh sea view apartment (in his own name) for her to live in, plus gave her a monthly allowance of US$5,000. The house cost him about US$700,000 in 2005. The affair lasted for 5 years.

He sold the house this year for $3.8 million, after they broke up. 

A quick calculation shows that after 5 years of a fling with the woman, he still had a net gain of $2.8 million plus six years of FREE SEX.

When his wife found out about this, he offers the $2.8 million to her.
But she was still not happy ........... , and she was very mad at him and gave him a big mouthful...

She yelled at him at the top of her voice and said ......
"BLOODY IDIOT, STUPID FOOL" !!! ..............
Why the hell didn't you keep TWO MISTRESSES !!!! _,

DON'T TOW MY CAR

HANDS FREE

TALKING TO THE WALL

A female CNN journalist heard about a very elderly Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was,
walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."

"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."

"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to
love their fellow man."

"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."

The journalist then asked, "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a wall."