One night my friends asked me to go out with them. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight. Hours passed and the beers went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m.(a bit loaded) I headed home.

Just as I walked in the door the cookoo clock chimmed 3 times. Afraid that my wife would wake up I quickly cucooed 9 more times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with a quick witted solution.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I had got in. I said: "MIDNIGHT, Like I Said!" She seemed fine with my answer, so I thought that I had gotten away with it. Then my wife promptly told me that we needed to get a new cuckoo clock, I asked why and she said: "Well, last night our cuckoo clock cuckooed 3 times, said oh crap, cuckooed 4 times, cleared its throat, cuckooed 3 more times, giggled, cuckooed 2 more times, then tripped over the coffee table and farted."