wife & husband 7

*7)Expiry date*


Wife: "Honey, what are you looking for?"


Husband: "Nothing."


Wife: "Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?"


Husband:" I was looking for the expiry date!

Reasons why I never visit my rich friend

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me with a simple question.
 

Question : What drink would you like to have...?

Answer   : Tea please

Then.....

Question :  Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, iced tea or green tea?

Answer   :  Ceylon tea

Question : How would you like it? Black or white?

Answer   : white

Question : Milk, or fresh cream?

Answer   : With milk

Question : Goat's milk, or cow's milk?

Answer   : With cow's milk please.

Question : Friezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?

Answer   : Uhm, I'll just take it black.

Question : Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?

Answer   : With sugar

Question : Beet sugar or cane sugar?

Answer   : Cane sugar

Question : White, brown or yellow sugar?

Answer   : Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead.

Question : Mineral water, tap water or distilled water?

Answer   : Mineral water

Question : Flavored or non-flavored, sparkling or non?

Answer   : I think I'll just die of thirst

Husband and Wife 6

*6)Baby burn't*





A white couple had a black baby….


The husband doesn't believe that it's his baby.


Husband: Why the baby black?


Wife: U hot, I hot, baby burnt..!

Husband and Wife 5

**5)Don't disgrace your family*



A young Chinese girl going on her 1st date. Her mother warned her…."1st he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy; then he wants to go on top. You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our family name."


Next day girl told Mom, "Everything happened exactly as you predicted. I didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family."

Wife and Husband 4

*4)Not at all*



70 yr old man asks his wife "do u feel sad when u see me running behind
young girls?"


Wife replied "No not at all, even dogs chase cars let alone nice cars but they can't drive it." *

Living Standards of the 21st Century!

Living Standards of the 21st Century!

Our communication - Wireless


Our phones - Cordless


Our cooking - Fireless


Our food - Fatless


Our Sweets - Sugarless


Our labor - Effortless


Our relations - Fruitless



Our attitude - Careless


Our feelings - Heartless


Our politics - Shameless


Our education - Worthless


Our Mistakes - Countless


Our arguments - Baseless


Our youth - Jobless


Our Ladies - Topless



Our Boss - Brainless


Our Jobs - Thankless


Our Needs - Endless


Our situation - Hopeless


Our Income - Less & less

FUNNY VIDEO

*3)Wedding nights*

Man to wife on wedding night- "Are you sure I'm the first man you are

sleeping with?' "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!' *

wife & husband 2

*2)Wife & Husband*

Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"

Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE

every morning!" *

1) Wife & Husband

*1) Wife & Husband


Wife *: How have you managed to get home so early today? *

Husband* : My boss lost temper with me and shouted "Go to hell". So I came home.*

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man.
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back!
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful   dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks.
They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams  and  he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies.... .

DID I READ THAT SIGN RIGHT 10

Did I read that sign right?


On a repair shop door:WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.

(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)