Tuesday 29 December 2009

Three Ladies in a Sauna

Hi! everyone
I hope you are high spirits as you read this joke. 


THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD
TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.

THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER..


wow the latest fax machine...


James Oh

Sunday 27 December 2009

More laughs...

Happy day! everyone,


I am so excited to share this joke, I have received from my contacts, with you.


Samy and his driver, Muniandy, were cruising along a Sungai Siput country road one evening when an old dog loomed in front of the car.

Muniandy tried to avoid it but couldn't - the old dog was killed. Samy told Muniandy to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened.

About an hour later, Muniandy staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of expensive wine in one hand, an expensive Cuban cigar in the other and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

"What happened?" asked Samy .

"Well," Muniandy replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful twin daughters were so happy they kept kissing me!"

"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Samy.

Muniandy replied: "I'm Samy's driver, and I just killed the old dog."


Ha! ! 

Friday 25 December 2009

Coffee Break - Jokes 6

Hi! everyone,


Top Joke in England

Two weasel
s are sitting on a barstool. One starts to insult the other one.

He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
The other says, 'Go home dad you're drunk.'



"An honest individual is satisfied with himself as much as others are satisfied with him.."


Stay tuned and see you again,

James Oh

Wednesday 23 December 2009

Coffee Break - Jokes 5

Hi! everyone,


I trust that you will enjoy the joke below.

Top Joke in Canada


When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint  pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent  a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater,  on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. 

The Russians used a pencil.


How's effective if you can think of out of box  solution?


James Oh





Tuesday 22 December 2009

Coffee Break - Jokes 4

Hi! everyone,



Top Joke in USA

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.


One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral  procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his  golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
 

His friend says: 'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever  seen. You truly are a kind man.'
 

The man then replies: 'Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.'

Ha!!!! Please read between the lines.





James Oh

Monday 21 December 2009

Coffee Break - Jokes 3

Hi1 everyone,


Top Joke in UK

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says: 'That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!' 
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'
The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.






Listen properly and tell me how many people has insulted the above woman.

Saturday 19 December 2009

Coffee Break - Jokes 2

Happy day! everyone,

















Top Joke in Northern Ireland 
 
 A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'. 






I hope the above jokes find you in the great health.


Stay tuned and series 3 is in the pipeline.






James Oh

Friday 18 December 2009

Coffee Break - Jokes 1

Hi! everyone,


I am going to share with you a series of coffee break jokes and trust you will enjoy them.



A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, ''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The
 girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your  mother.''

The young man again brought three more names to his father but ended up frustrated because the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother. ''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''

His mother smiling said to him, ''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls.  You're not his son.

   
Stay tuned and seeing you agian,





James Oh

Wednesday 16 December 2009

3 Good Tips For Life

Hi! everyone,

I hope you have a good laugh.

Counselling Tips

Morris, the dumb, and his wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problems?"


The wife replies, "It's my husband Morris,he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!"How does he drive you crazy?"


"For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."


The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?"


He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!" Hmm, anything else?"

The wife hesitates,"whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"

"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now."


So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him,

"Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy.She might even leave you."


The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants!

What could be her problem?"

The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public - looking at the floor and never going near anyone else."

Morris looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said."

What did he say?"

He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!"


The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry."

The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. That's what he meant. Okay."

The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public."


Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."

The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity."

Oh," says the husband looking very stupid. And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking."

This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing."


What did he say?"

Morris replies: "In his dying breath, he said. Don't fuck up."

It indicates that it is important not simply to interprete literally.

See you again,

James Oh

Tuesday 15 December 2009

Good Treatment

Hi! everyone,

I hope you find the joke below entertaining.

Bob went over to his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses.

"Gee," Bob remarked later, "you really make a big fuss over your wife".

"I started to appreciate her more about six months ago," Joe said. "It has revived our marriage and we couldn't be happier."

Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears. "Honey," Bob said, "whats' the matter?".

"This has been the worst day," she replied. "This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk !".

Good intention, but not apprciated. Poor Bob.

James Oh

Saturday 12 December 2009

LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER

Hi! everyone,

Glad to see you again and this I hope you are entertained well by this last episode of Little Ralphy


Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another....
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'


Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'



The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own fuck'n business.



I LOVE Little RALPHY!

Thursday 10 December 2009

How men change

Hi! Everyone,


The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!

After 6 months: Of course, I love you.

After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?


Back from Work:

After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!

After 6 months: I'm BACK!!

After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?


Phone Ringing:

After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.

After 6 months: Here, it's for you.

After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!


Cooking:

After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!

After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?

After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??


New Dress:

After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.

After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?

After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?


TV:

After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?

After 6 months: I like this movie.

After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!


Making Love:

After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?

After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!

After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!




James Oh

Wednesday 9 December 2009

Good Treatment

Hi! everyone,

I hope you enjoy this short story about Bob and Joe.

Bob went over to his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses.

"Gee," Bob remarked later, "you really make a big fuss over your wife".

"I started to appreciate her more about six months ago," Joe said. "It has revived our marriage and we couldn't be happier."

Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears. "Honey," Bob said, "whats' the matter?".

"This has been the worst day," she replied. "This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk !".

Pity Bob. What advice you should give him.


James Oh

Tuesday 8 December 2009

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

Hi! everyone,

Glad to see you again,

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'

'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully. '

She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.

'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fuck'n beautiful!''

RALPHY made it again.

Stay tuned for another joke from RALPHY.

James

Saturday 5 December 2009

LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

Hi! Everyone,

Today, I am going to share with you another joke from Little Ralphy,


LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss'


The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'

Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'


I hope you have a good laugh.


Thanks for your time and stay tuned again,

James Oh

Thursday 3 December 2009

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

Hi! everyone,

I hope you will enjoy reading another joke from Little ralphy :-

LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate. '

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'

Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'

Ha! dirty Ralph, I hope you don't get offended.

Stay tune for another joke from Ralphy.


James

Wednesday 2 December 2009

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH Part 2

Hi! everyone,

In this article, I am going to continue to share with you the another story from :-

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH 


Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.


'Why?' asks the father?


'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.


'But that's right!' says his dad.


'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''


'What's the fuck'n difference?' asks the father.


'That's what I said!'

I hope you don't get offend by this joke.

Stay tune for part 3.

James Oh

Monday 30 November 2009

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH

Hi! everyone,

Today I have a great joke for you. Sit back and read it.

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Ralphy.



He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'


The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking'


Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.



There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:


One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone


The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?'


The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'


To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'

Ha!! I heard your laughing voice. So stay tuned for part 2.


Seeing you again,

James Oh

Saturday 28 November 2009

Problem Father

Hi! everyone,









This is another joke you sure have to a good laugh.
 
·
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"
· He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
· "But that's wonderful," I said.
· "What's so wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.


Ha !!! Listen properly before you mcome to conclusion. 




James Oh

Come Home Late

Hi! everyone,





I hope this post offers a solution to the married couples especially married ladies.


·
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

· "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.

· "Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how?"
 
· The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

 Stay tuned for another joy.


James Oh

Friday 27 November 2009

No Answer Back

Hi! everyone,



This is a great one especially for those married couples.

 
·
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."
 
· One of his friends asked. "And when you are angry, what do you do?"
 
· The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.





You see the difference between man and woman because they are designed for their distinctive purposes. Do you agree? look forward to your answer through comments.



James


Thursday 26 November 2009

Love To Do

Hi Everyone,
 
·
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" 

· "I would love to. "Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Ha!!! Don't surprised that this is happen to your husband because this is very common to human mankind. 


Just laugh it off. Be brave to accept the truth.


James Oh








Tuesday 24 November 2009

Talk about Husband


Hi! everyone,

This is another good job done by a married woman,



One woman told another: " My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

See how cleverly the "treasure" was hidden.






Hope you have a good laugh....


Thanks for your time and stay tuned for another good ones.


James

Monday 23 November 2009

Same service







Hi! everyone,

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. 

Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
 
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

Be happy. Do not complain and dispute.


James Oh





Sunday 22 November 2009

Why?

Hi! Everyone,


Today I am going to share with you another good joke.


Why?
· "Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.
· "Why, Dad? Tell me why!"
· Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."









Giving justification for unjustified act, sounds familiar in reality.



Friday 20 November 2009

Wedding Ring

Hi! everyone,


For those marriage couple, please check your wedding ring  and share with us your luck.


Wedding Ring
 
·
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
· The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."


Hope you are not the same as the above woman.




Stay tuned for another joke.


James Oh

Thursday 19 November 2009

Love your enemy, why not ?

Love Your Enemy
 
·
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."

· "Samy! But he is your enemy!"

· "Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."





Ha! another cleverly twist way. We called it "Smart way". How crook our mind is?





James Oh

Wednesday 18 November 2009

Divorce, Why not?

Hi! everyone,


Live your life to the fullest and make everyday as if it is your last Sit back and enjoy the jokes below:-


Why divorce?
 
·
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband." 
   "But why ?" asked the judge.

· She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
· The judge asked, "How do you know?"
 
· She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

People are getting too smart and can think of whatever reasons they can think of to get what they want. Is the above familiar to you? Is it really a smart twist.? Is it people are trying to be polite? Please tell us your view. Thanks for your kind participation.

Stay tuned and look forward to your feedback.

James Oh

Tuesday 17 November 2009

Stress Reliever # 1 0

Hi! everyone,


The stress relief solution is for married couples.


Stress Reliever # 10

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face
or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour.


I hope you have a good laugh even with your spouse.

This is our last episode of this mini series of the Stress reliever.

Stay tuned for other type of jokes. Seeing you again.





James Oh

Monday 16 November 2009

Stress Reliever # 9

Hi! Everyone,


We have stress relieve solution for the public as well.



Stress Reliever # 9
 
Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?
Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.


Ha!! Stay tuned for more solution,


James Oh

Sunday 15 November 2009

Stress Reliever # 8

Hi! everyone,


The stress relieve solution is more inclined to newly married couples who may need it.  As society growing more complicated, so do the interpretation.


Stress Reliever # 8
 

Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?

Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!



Ha !!! Good and quick response is required. It is also make sense for those especially who think they can still fool around.

Stay tuned for more stress relieve solution.



James Oh


Saturday 14 November 2009

Stress Reliever # 7

Hi! young couples,


There is good stress relief solution to young couples too.


Stress Reliever # 7
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. 



Have a lovely week end.








James Oh

Friday 13 November 2009

Stress Reliever # 6

Hi! everyone,


There is always a solution available for you no matter what situation you are in. There is always upside story even if you were to turn from Billionaire to Millionaire as illustrated in the story below:-


Stress Reliever # 6
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." 


Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What wer e you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"


You have to give something before you gain something. 


Stay tuned for more of such stress relief solutions in our forthcoming articles.


Have a lovely week end,


James Oh

Wednesday 11 November 2009

Stress Reliever # 6

Happy day to you,


Stress Reliever # 6
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." 


Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"



Ha! very positive. Life, you must give out something before you gain something new in return. Right? Why why we say giving is receiving.


James Oh






Tuesday 10 November 2009

Stress Reliever # 5

Our dear valued readers and visitors,

I am glad to make the stress relieve solution to teachers and students as well. 


Stress Reliever # 5
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans." 



I am strongly believe that all walks of life also need stress solutions.


Stay tuned so as to keep you healthy,


James Oh


















Monday 9 November 2009

Stress Reliever # 4

Happy day to everyone,

Below is another stress relief solution for both the parents and children.


Stress Reliever # 4
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."



Ha! Good and creative one. Now, children are also catching up fast.





James