Sunday, 30 December 2012

PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG


PURPOSE OF THE STAY HEALTHY THROUGH JOKES BLOG

Laughter is WELL KNOWN AS one of the best antidotes for reducing the day to day stress and anxiety. IT has proven to be an extremely effective way to increase the positive energy FROM AGES AGO. Laughter is responsible and necessary for achieving Happiness and Harmony in life. I was an introvert and serious person until I realised that I need to take initiatives to change and laugh more should I want to lead and turnaround the company I worked with during the Asean Financial Crisis.
I was so blessed because my superiors left almost the entire operation to me because of my characters and experiences. At times, I have one meeting after the other with my bankers, insurers, lawyers, and creditors for our repayment of overdue debts at the same day. For those who have gone through such an experience, you will able to imagine how stressful the work will be. Fortunately, because of my character and strong belief and willingness to take these challenges to make myself better, stronger and tougher. As such, I find the solution of laughter to ease my workload, emotion and enjoy my journey of turning it around.

Due to these invaluable experience, I decided to maintain such a blog to keep my readers healthy, happy and harmony. That is the main driving force to have this blog. Now you know why we have humour blog apart from OUR other BLOGS which ARE geared toward providing personal empowerment tips, tools and resources to assist you TO LIVE LIFE in MORE FULFILLING ROLES. 

Humour has proven to be a powerful and effective WAYS AND MEANS of assisting and enabling you to shift your focus and release many of the anxieties responsible for inhibiting your progress.

Without getting into all the physiological, spiritual, and scientific reasons how and why humour is such a positive and powerful force in improving your desired outcomes it has been scientifically proven to assist in enhancing immune function and improving your overall quality of life.

Based on that understanding we have chosen to dedicate a portion of the site to boost your positive energy that is created as a result of making you smile.

This link is all about related humour posts that we hope will assist you in increasing your energy levels and assist in making your day a little brighter, more positive and more productive in the process.

It takes many more muscles to frown than it does to smile...so relax, put a smile on your face and be well.

We hope you enjoy our Humour section.
"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."
-Mark Twain




ANOTHER GREAT YEAR OF 2013


ANOTHER GREAT YEAR OF 2013

Very Good Day everyone,

We are about to conclude the final chapter for year 2012. Let us close the old chapter and get a STUNNING START for another Great NEW YEAR of 2013.

We need to be what you wanted to BE in order to Do what to make our lives better, before we Have it. So vision and mission it, focus and create your passion to do and enjoy it. Then proceed to go ahead and you will get it one day...

We have power over our own thoughts and actions. Our belief will determine our actions. Use them as our guide and garner your power to make a rewarding and fulfilling life for ourselves.

Instead of giving Reason, let us create Result of real value to the world which we love and care. Now is the time we have. When it comes to important things in life, never wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow may not come.

Let us Make ourselves into the person who is joyfully, peacefully and successfully living our most wonderful treasured dreams. In every moment, choose to make ourselves the best we can be.

Trust everyone is READY to thrive for another Great year and take our success to next level of height!

Cheers and look forward to receiving your continuous support and visits.



Thursday, 27 December 2012

WHAT IS COUPLE SEX ?


What Is Couple Sex?
 
All you Grandpas and Grandmas, this is too funny not to forward.
 
What Is Couple Sex?
 
An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is couple sex?"
 
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer.
 
Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
 
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.
 
Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"
 
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.


Sunday, 23 December 2012

NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL


Man and wife were watching a boxing match in which a boxer received "T.K.O" or Technical Knock Out in the first round.

Man says,"Very boring, it was all over in under 1 minute"

Wife replies," Now you know how I feel?"
Just for laugh.............................share only if you like or ignore seeing this posting.[for adults only]

Man and wife were watching a boxing match in which a boxer received "T.K.O" or Technical Knock Out in the first round.

Man says,"Very boring, it was all over in under 1 minute" 

Wife replies," Now you know how I feel?"

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

IS IT THE SAME?


EVER WONDERED WHY THEY ALWAYS USE WOMEN MODELS,  INSTEAD OF MEN FOR CALENDARS? 

   
[]

[]

[]

[]

[]

[]

[]

[]

[]

Just not the same, is it?

LET US KNOW YOUR FEEDBACK THROUGH THE COMMENT COLUMN PROVIDED BELOW. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.

Sunday, 16 December 2012

MY SWEET MEMORABLE EVENT


MY IMPACT ON MY LOVE ONES
My late father had travelled across an ocean from China to marry my mother in Malaysia. She is a local lady.

To know my family tree, please click the link below:-


http://liftyouup.blogspot.com/2011/10/family-tree-of-our-founder.html

As such, I am a product of a migrant from Main Land China and a local lady. Both are illiterate. Luckily, 5 out of my 7 siblings are university graduates, that made both our parents very proud.

Despite our early and tough struggle, we were given lots of freedom. Our parents never check our school homework but somehow we realised, valued and recognised the importance of an education.

My mum's famous quote is "born in beggar's faith, but possess emperor's heart", when I tried very hard to pursue further studies especially when I quit my job with late Professor, Yap Han Heng to do my Form 6 on self sustaining basis.

How will you feel when someone has been using the method you taught her many years ago ? The one person who has benefited for so many years from my advice, out of one unpleasant incident is my mother. Applause.

Look at the photo above, the date torn from a calendar that was glued to the gas cylinder may not trigger anything for you. However it reminded me of this sweet memorable event that as a young boy ,  who ran out of patience, told my mother this idea. 

It happened when I heard her voice vividly asking me repeatedly to buy one item after another from the sundry shop, a walking distance from our low cost flat, while she was preparing our meals.

At that time, I was in my last few hours preparing for my examination. I was summoned by her when she discovered that she ran out of cooking oil. She has to shout repeatedly because I concentrated on my study despite our flat is as big as pigeon hole. 

I had no other choice, but to set aside everything I was doing. I rushed to get the cooking oil back. However,  upon return and just about ready to begin my revision. 

She called me again and without much hesitation I immediate answered her. She told me to get onions for her as she just discovered that she ran out of stock.

I had to put everything aside and rush to the shop again to buy for her. 

After my second return but before I warm up my seat, I was  called again, this time she wanted me to get her another item. I was a bit annoyed, and told her to list down all items she need in a list, without any diplomatic tone. She replied with a strong reason that she couldn't do so because she is illiterate. 

Instantly, I brush aside her reason and counter attack her to either draw it down or paste the picture on a piece of paper so as to remind her.

After many years I left my house to pursue my higher studies in Selangor, I still see her practicing till today and the impact I left on my love ones.

What really made me happy was to see someone I love benefiting from my creative way of doing thing to improve her lifestyle despite she had always given excuses of being too old to learn. 

http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Oh/706849667

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Thursday, 22 November 2012

FOOD THAT CAUSES THE MOST GRIEF


A doctor addressing a large audience in Oxford.......


A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford...
"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most
of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is full of steroids and dye.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the
long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and
most of us have, or will eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief
and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the
front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake" !!!

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

BEST EXCUSE BY A FEMALE EMPLOYEE


Best Excuse By A Female Employee !

This incident, has apparently happened in real life!.


My friend, who is a the head of Human Resources at a very large bank,
 says that the best excuse for absenteeism, that he had ever received in his career of almost 22 years, was from a female Indian employee, at their bank's head quarters at Mumbai, India, in July, 2010. 

He says when the lady, was questioned on why she remained absent the previous day, she simply replied .......

"But sir, I had no option. My husband was on casual leave yesterday
 and was at home.By mistake he took pills from the wrong bottle in our medicine cabinet and ended up consuming an over-dose of Viagra! Now how could I have left him, all alone at home, with the house-maid? "

Sunday, 4 November 2012

DOG SNIPPER

A man had just boarded and settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his Black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.

'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.
I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'

The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, 'Watch  this.'

He told Sniffer to 'search'.

Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.

Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm.

The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man
And said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.

'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man.

Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.

The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.

The Policeman said, 'Two paws mean that man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the Police.'

'I like it!' said his seat mate.

The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'search' again.

Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.

The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.

So he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on?'

The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.'




LET GET THIS STRAIGHT


Friday, 2 November 2012

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Sunday, 28 October 2012

HUMOUR IS GREAT MEDICINE


Humor Is GREAT Medicine.
IT Has Proven To Be A Powerful Ally In Enhancing Your Overall Health And Well Being.
Laughter is one of the best antidotes for reducing the day to day stress and anxiety that so many in this day and age experience and has proven to be an extremely effective way to increase the positive energy which is responsible and necessary for achieving Abundance, Happiness and harmony in life.

Good Humor = "Joyfulness"
"Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us." -Orison Swett Marden

IF YOU HAVE ABOVE BELIEF, THEN VISITING AND READING THIS BLOG WILL LEAD YOU TO THE HEALTHY PATH.


We BELIEVE that this blog will boost your positive energy that is created as a result of making you smile.

If you have benefited from this site, we sincerely hope you too will spread it to others.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Monday, 22 October 2012

THAT'S ANOTHER WAY OF OVERCOME THE DARKNESS



DUE TO SO CALLED INFLATION, ELECTRICITY BILL IS ALSO RISING UP.

Sunday, 21 October 2012

Saturday, 20 October 2012

THE PSYCHIATRIST....




The psychiatrist
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a psychiatrist and told him. . .
'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared.. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist.
'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..'
'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty pounds per visit,' replied the expert.
'I'll sleep on it,' I said.
Six months later, he met me on the street.
'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, eighty quid a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!
A bartender cured me for £10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought myself a new car!'
'Is that so?' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!'
FORGET THOSE LEARNED DOCTORS..
GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER.

Thursday, 18 October 2012

J.O.B. MEANS


BECAUSE JOB IS TO KEEP YOU JUST OVER BANKRUPTCY.

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Monday, 15 October 2012

CHECK WHICH GENERATION YOU ARE BELONG TO

 
 
 
 
By Bobot NoƱina
 
People born before 1946 were called the greatest generation
People born between 1946 and 1964 are called The Baby Boomers.
People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X,
And people born between 1980 and 2011 are called Generation Y,

Sunday, 14 October 2012

REFLECTION OF A TYPICAL SINGAPOREAN

REFLECTION OF A TYPICAL SINGAPOREAN

Enjoy and have a good laugh.... this is so funny, written by a poor
poetic Singaporean.

I am Ong Ah Tee living in Kampong Chai Chee
Life used to be simple and HAPPY
I worked hard in my STUDIES
I learned A-B-C, and everything from 1, 2, and 3.
Primary school was quite easy I passed PSLE
Then I went to SECONDARY
The subjects include HISTORY, GEOGRAPHY
Physics, Biology and CHEMISTRY
After O levels I went to JC
They said you live in Singapore very LUCKY
This is a small humid tropical COUNTRY
Surrounded by unknown potential ENEMIES
Boys turned 18 must go to ARMY for the tour of duty
After that we may continue our Studies
The girls can just sit back, relax, and watch TV
They come to this world only to "lim kopi, kway jit chee"
No one lives on free meals or depends on CHARITY
I want to take up IT, but I had no money to go to University or Poly
So I went to work at FACTORY
Working hard to earn a little lousy SALARY
After CPF and INCOME TAX, I have just enough money to buy ROTI and ride in MRT.
My bosses show me no SYMPATHY
Mumbling over my shoulder daily: "HURRY, HURRY and HURRY !"
Accusing me of always trying to get MC
But my sickness was due to over stretch OT
Going home after midnight by TAXI
And they pay me only bus fee
My colleague likes me because of my honesty and can easily bully
They said I don't know how to carry.
I Park-Tor and became STEADY
Finally had to MARRY
Because gahment gave baby bonus MONEY
I lost money holding Wedding Dinner PARTY
Cheeky friends donating only cheap PANTY
After marriage, nothing was EASY
In one year, I became DADDY
I can't support my family and our BABY
Being tied down for life to repay 2 rooms HDB and rising monthly utilities to PUB
My bank account has NO MONEY
POSB balance is almost EMPTY
DBS wants to charge me EXTRA FEE
Insisting that "Nothing is FREE!"
So I moonlight as KARANG GUNI
Many times I want to jump MRT
But that is not EASY
My wife cries: "Who is going to support me and our BABY?"
So I can't MATI.
I went to seek assistance from the MP
His reply was simple and easy:
"Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me".
He never tells me any convincing Policy.
How to help the poor with more GST?
Why I cannot have pay increase but they can have increase?
Before, my MP said "Vote for me, we give you sweeties".
Now, they want to increase salary, because "You voted me".
They claim they made good economy for our country.
They benchmark themselves using GDP.
They said, "To get the best man, you have to pay high fee"
otherwise, they will join MNC.
And all your 'char bor' become maids in other COUNTRY.
Next will be the GST.
My boss say "no" to increase in salary,
It's really make me worry.
Our Health Ministry said let GP set their consultation fee.
If the GP charges high fee, don't let them see.
No money, how can healthy
If fall sick, can only mati
In hospital, can afford Class C.
I don't mind all nurses are aunty,
But only one doctor to see
No money for operation, I Tan Si



Saturday, 13 October 2012

Friday, 12 October 2012

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Monday, 8 October 2012

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Thursday, 4 October 2012

A DENTIST AND A GIRL

A guy and a girl meet at a bar……
Descript-disabledion:

cid:1035C2F7D6DE409CA54FA788EC1DB6FE@DavidPC

They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.Descript-disabledion:

cid:EBE8B810BE0349DCB843AFB77332F16A@DavidPC
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

Descript-disabledion:

cid:B55B2653FD2A400282346CBDB4592D83@DavidPCHe then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands. The girl has been watching him and says: Descript-disabledion:

cid:86FF90F41DD34E3CB5A94574DEEF345B@DavidPC
"You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says:
"Yes .... How did you figure that out?"
"Easy.." she replies, "you keep washing your hands." One thing leads to another and they make love.
After it's over the girl says: "You must be a good dentist."

Descript-disabledion:

cid:2D7AE96F8D7245E6B063F16E0E2C9DF7@DavidPC
The guy, now with an inflated ego, says:
"Sure - I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"
The girl replies:.... Descript-disabledion:

                                              cid:3E38E63D3486482EBF57CE3F5250928D@DavidPC
"I Didn't feel a thing"

Monday, 1 October 2012

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Friday, 28 September 2012

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Monday, 24 September 2012

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Thursday, 20 September 2012