Wednesday 29 June 2011

WISDOM OF CONFUCIUS

Have a good laugh.


Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:-


1. to plant your idea in someone's head


2. to plant someone's money in your own pocket.





























Tuesday 21 June 2011

TOO OLD TO SQUAT





 

An elderly man really took care of his body.
He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day.

Description: http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Lifeandhealth/Pix/pictures/2009/6/11/1244719002038/Older-man-exercising-001.jpg

One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis.

Description: http://suckstobeyoublog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/old_man_cowboy_hat_nude-199x300.jpg

So he decided to do something about that.

He went to the beach, undressed completely and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left
 sticking out of the sand.

Description: http://www.capnbarefoot.info/local--files/sporades:skiathos/captain6.gif
 
A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along.
Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand,
the lady with the cane began to move the penis
around with her cane.

Description: http://www.oralchelation.com/calcium/images/prod011.gif

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said:
"There really is no justice in the world."

The other little old lady asked:

"What do you mean by that?"

The first little old lady replied:

Description: http://images.pictureshunt.com/pics/s/sexy_woman-2980.jpg
"Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it."
Description: http://www.naturalhealthanswers.co.uk/UserFiles/845874_sexy_woman_kneeling_%20%20sxc.jpg
"When I was 30, I enjoyed it."
Description: http://c.photoshelter.com/img-get/I0000qeX12zeoZyE/s
"When I was 40, I asked for it."
Description: http://www.neillneill.com/uploads/Image/middle-aged%20woman.jpg
"When I was 50, I paid for it."
Description: http://www.carefair.com/data/uploads/istock_000003536866_l.jpg
"When I was 60, I prayed for it."
Description: http://www.babyboomercaretaker.com/images/fashion/short-hair-styles-for-seniors.jpg
"When I was 70, I forgot about it."
Description: http://www.casp.org/images/elderly-woman.jpg
"Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild and I'm too old to squat."
 
 
 
 




 
 
 

Monday 20 June 2011

WE LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU

A very warm welcome to you here.


Lately, I am wondering how I can take my blog further. It struck my mind to revert to you for your honest answers.


As such, I believe that it is appropriate for me to request you to review my blog in these three areas namely its content, quality and frequency. I fully acknowledged and accepted the fact that content is the highlight of the blog. It’s the reason why you visit my blog and why you keep coming back. As such it’s important for me to have consistency in both the quality of my content and the frequency in which I have been posting all this while. In this connection, your honest feedback is solicited on whether some of tips I know and share is attractive enough.


First thing first, please put a rating from 1 to 10 for the following :-


• Did my content create value. Please give the rating 1( very poor) to 10 (excellent)


Perhaps you may just use another fancy way of asking whether my content is amazingly interesting. All of my posts,which have intention to give readers a worthwhile reason for reading. In short, are you getting something back and at the end of day, are you being lifted up as the name suggested. If not, how?


• Frequently posted.


I update my blog on a regular basis to give you reason to come back to my site. The plan is to update my blog at least once or twice a week, having in mind that quality is more important than quantity. This is because I believe that taking a couple of days off between posts can help me write a better post in the long run.


• My content is readable.


I am mindful that writing a blog is much different than writing a book or paper. This is because you, as online readers, have relatively shorter attention spans and more specific needs are preferred. Here, what I am trying to say is that I never pick colors fonts that will strain the visitor’s eyes. If I do, I like to apologise for it.


I also always ensure that my writing is easy to read. I prefer short paragraphs, using lists or bullet points, bolding or underlining important text when it is appropriate for me to do so. Do you agree?


Keeping enough white space in between lines and words is my style. Most of the times, I try to avoid typing up huge walls of text. At times, images and videos are included, where appropriate, to give readers something to look at. Here, I believe prosperity through diversity and always looking at new avenues to improve it further.


At last, but not least, I never felt discouraged when I work hard on a post even though no one pays attention to it. I am aware that growing a blog takes time. No one appreciate it now, does not mean that it will not be appreciated in the future. This is because once I grow, more people will look through my older posts and will see my hard work! Alternatively it will give me a chance to improve it further.


Stay tuned and I will work on my design and with my next post, I will discuss blog networking




James Oh






Skype me at james.oh18

Friday 17 June 2011


3.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her
skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first
step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that
this would give her enough slack to raise her leg She tried to take the
step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip
her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little
smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and
again was unable to take the step.

At this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up
easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled 'How
dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with
you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were
friends.'

Tuesday 14 June 2011

2.

A man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money. Suddenly an idea struck him.

He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar. The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."


The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".


The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver". The man smiled again.


He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".


As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."


Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".


The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like.

Friday 10 June 2011

1. Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills.

He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read -


"I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."


While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.


Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master's place and burst into tears.


This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely. I feel like dying"

Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt flawless painting. Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work."


Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.


"Come with me." master said.


They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -


"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this


profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."


Master and disciple walked back home.


They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!


Moral of the story:


It is easier to criticize, but DIFFICULT TO IMPROVE!


So don't get carried away or judge yourself by someone else’s criticism and feel depressed...


JUDGE YOURSELF! YOU ARE YOUR BEST JUDGE!!!

Saturday 4 June 2011

Doctor - Save life

Doctor - Nice one.........
 
 



A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:

'Doctor, I have a serious problem and  desperately need your  help! My baby is not even 1 year old, and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.
 

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'  

The doctor thought for a little,  and after some silence he said to the  lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem.
  It's less dangerous for you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.  

Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of  2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way,  you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill  one of them, it doesn't matter which one  it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child! 

'I  agree', the doctor replied.  'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution. The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.  

He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!



If you agree, please spread around.   Together we can help save precious lives!  

Learn from Yesterday,  live for Today, hope for Tomorrow..