Hi! everyone
I hope you are high spirits as you read this joke.
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'
THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.
THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER..
wow the latest fax machine...
James Oh
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Sunday, 27 December 2009
More laughs...
Happy day! everyone,
I am so excited to share this joke, I have received from my contacts, with you.
I am so excited to share this joke, I have received from my contacts, with you.
| Samy and his driver, Muniandy, were cruising along a Sungai Siput country road one evening when an old dog loomed in front of the car. Muniandy tried to avoid it but couldn't - the old dog was killed. Samy told Muniandy to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later, Muniandy staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of expensive wine in one hand, an expensive Cuban cigar in the other and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick. "What happened?" asked Samy . "Well," Muniandy replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful twin daughters were so happy they kept kissing me!" "My God, what did you tell them?" asked Samy. Muniandy replied: "I'm Samy's driver, and I just killed the old dog." Ha! ! |
Friday, 25 December 2009
Coffee Break - Jokes 6
Hi! everyone,
Top Joke in England
Two weasels are sitting on a barstool. One starts to insult the other one.
Top Joke in England
Two weasels are sitting on a barstool. One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
The other says, 'Go home dad you're drunk.'
"An honest individual is satisfied with himself as much as others are satisfied with him.."
Stay tuned and see you again,
James Oh
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
The other says, 'Go home dad you're drunk.'
"An honest individual is satisfied with himself as much as others are satisfied with him.."
Stay tuned and see you again,
James Oh
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Coffee Break - Jokes 5
Hi! everyone,
I trust that you will enjoy the joke below.
Top Joke in Canada
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
How's effective if you can think of out of box solution?
James Oh
I trust that you will enjoy the joke below.
Top Joke in Canada
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
How's effective if you can think of out of box solution?
James Oh
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
Coffee Break - Jokes 4
Hi! everyone,
Top Joke in USA
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: 'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.'
The man then replies: 'Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.'
Ha!!!! Please read between the lines.
James Oh
Top Joke in USA
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: 'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.'
The man then replies: 'Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.'
Ha!!!! Please read between the lines.
James Oh
Monday, 21 December 2009
Coffee Break - Jokes 3
Hi1 everyone,
Top Joke in UK
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.
Listen properly and tell me how many people has insulted the above woman.
Top Joke in UK
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: 'That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!'
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.
Listen properly and tell me how many people has insulted the above woman.
Saturday, 19 December 2009
Coffee Break - Jokes 2
Happy day! everyone,
Top Joke in Northern Ireland
A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.
I hope the above jokes find you in the great health.
Stay tuned and series 3 is in the pipeline.
James Oh
Top Joke in Northern Ireland
A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.
I hope the above jokes find you in the great health.
Stay tuned and series 3 is in the pipeline.
James Oh
Friday, 18 December 2009
Coffee Break - Jokes 1
Hi! everyone,
I am going to share with you a series of coffee break jokes and trust you will enjoy them.
I am going to share with you a series of coffee break jokes and trust you will enjoy them.
His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from the neighborhood.
With a sad face the old man said to his son, ''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''
The young man again brought three more names to his father but ended up frustrated because the response was still the same.
So he decides to go to his mother. ''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''
His mother smiling said to him, ''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son.
Stay tuned and seeing you agian,
James Oh
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
3 Good Tips For Life
Hi! everyone,
I hope you have a good laugh.
Counselling Tips
Morris, the dumb, and his wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problems?"
The wife replies, "It's my husband Morris,he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!"How does he drive you crazy?"
"For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."
The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?"
He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!" Hmm, anything else?"
The wife hesitates,"whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"
"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now."
So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him,
"Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy.She might even leave you."
The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants!
What could be her problem?"
The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public - looking at the floor and never going near anyone else."
Morris looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said."
What did he say?"
He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!"
The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry."
The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. That's what he meant. Okay."
The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public."
Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."
The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity."
Oh," says the husband looking very stupid. And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking."
This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing."
What did he say?"
Morris replies: "In his dying breath, he said. Don't fuck up."
It indicates that it is important not simply to interprete literally.
See you again,
James Oh
I hope you have a good laugh.
Counselling Tips
Morris, the dumb, and his wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problems?"
The wife replies, "It's my husband Morris,he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!"How does he drive you crazy?"
"For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."
The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?"
He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!" Hmm, anything else?"
The wife hesitates,"whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"
"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now."
So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him,
"Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy.She might even leave you."
The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants!
What could be her problem?"
The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public - looking at the floor and never going near anyone else."
Morris looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said."
What did he say?"
He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!"
The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry."
The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. That's what he meant. Okay."
The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public."
Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean."
The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity."
Oh," says the husband looking very stupid. And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking."
This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing."
What did he say?"
Morris replies: "In his dying breath, he said. Don't fuck up."
It indicates that it is important not simply to interprete literally.
See you again,
James Oh
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Good Treatment
Hi! everyone,
I hope you find the joke below entertaining.
Bob went over to his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses.
"Gee," Bob remarked later, "you really make a big fuss over your wife".
"I started to appreciate her more about six months ago," Joe said. "It has revived our marriage and we couldn't be happier."
Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears. "Honey," Bob said, "whats' the matter?".
"This has been the worst day," she replied. "This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk !".
Good intention, but not apprciated. Poor Bob.
James Oh
I hope you find the joke below entertaining.
Bob went over to his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses.
"Gee," Bob remarked later, "you really make a big fuss over your wife".
"I started to appreciate her more about six months ago," Joe said. "It has revived our marriage and we couldn't be happier."
Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears. "Honey," Bob said, "whats' the matter?".
"This has been the worst day," she replied. "This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk !".
Good intention, but not apprciated. Poor Bob.
James Oh
Saturday, 12 December 2009
LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
Hi! everyone,
Glad to see you again and this I hope you are entertained well by this last episode of Little Ralphy
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another....
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own fuck'n business.
I LOVE Little RALPHY
!
Glad to see you again and this I hope you are entertained well by this last episode of Little Ralphy
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another....
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own fuck'n business.
I LOVE Little RALPHY
!
Thursday, 10 December 2009
How men change
Hi! Everyone,
The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?
Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?
Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!
Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??
New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!
Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!
James Oh
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Good Treatment
Hi! everyone,
I hope you enjoy this short story about Bob and Joe.
Bob went over to his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses.
"Gee," Bob remarked later, "you really make a big fuss over your wife".
"I started to appreciate her more about six months ago," Joe said. "It has revived our marriage and we couldn't be happier."
Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears. "Honey," Bob said, "whats' the matter?".
"This has been the worst day," she replied. "This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk !".
Pity Bob. What advice you should give him.
James Oh
I hope you enjoy this short story about Bob and Joe.
Bob went over to his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He often told her how attractive she was, complimented her on her cooking and showered her with hugs and kisses.
"Gee," Bob remarked later, "you really make a big fuss over your wife".
"I started to appreciate her more about six months ago," Joe said. "It has revived our marriage and we couldn't be happier."
Inspired, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife and told her how much he loved her and said he wanted to hear all about her day. But she burst into tears. "Honey," Bob said, "whats' the matter?".
"This has been the worst day," she replied. "This morning Billy fell off his bike and broke his ankle, then the washing machine broke. Now to top it off, you come home drunk !".
Pity Bob. What advice you should give him.
James Oh
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
Hi! everyone,
Glad to see you again,
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully. '
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fuck'n beautiful!''
RALPHY made it again.
Stay tuned for another joke from RALPHY.
James
Glad to see you again,
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully. '
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fuck'n beautiful!''
RALPHY made it again.
Stay tuned for another joke from RALPHY.
James
Saturday, 5 December 2009
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
Hi! Everyone,
Today, I am going to share with you another joke from Little Ralphy,
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss'
The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'
Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
I hope you have a good laugh.
Thanks for your time and stay tuned again,
James Oh
Today, I am going to share with you another joke from Little Ralphy,
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss
' The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'
Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
I hope you have a good laugh.
Thanks for your time and stay tuned again,
James Oh
Thursday, 3 December 2009
LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Hi! everyone,
I hope you will enjoy reading another joke from Little ralphy :-
LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate. '
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'
Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'
Ha! dirty Ralph, I hope you don't get offended.
Stay tune for another joke from Ralphy.
James
I hope you will enjoy reading another joke from Little ralphy :-
LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate. '
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'
Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'
Ha! dirty Ralph, I hope you don't get offended.
Stay tune for another joke from Ralphy.
James
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH Part 2
Hi! everyone,
In this article, I am going to continue to share with you the another story from :-
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father?
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
'But that's right!' says his dad.
'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the fuck'n difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said!'
I hope you don't get offend by this joke.
Stay tune for part 3.
James Oh
In this article, I am going to continue to share with you the another story from :-
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father?
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
'But that's right!' says his dad.
'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the fuck'n difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said!'
I hope you don't get offend by this joke.
Stay tune for part 3.
James Oh
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