Pure Mathematics 18 n 54      Hi you men out there use your Maths next time...................                A husband wrote the following letter to his wife and left it on the dining room table:  “My Dear Wife,  You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy.  I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife.  Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.  Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight..”  When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:  'My Dear Husband,  I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old.  I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old.  As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college...  I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students.  He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Maths, you will understand that although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference:        18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.'       Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.......

(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr old girl.
On their first night both were crying...... ....Why?? ?
Because she didn't know anything and he had forgotten everything.

(11) VIRGIN 
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A
VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN. The engraver shortened it to: '
RETURNED UNOPENED '

10) DENTIST

Woman complaining to dentist: 'It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby
than have a tooth removed.'

Dentist: 'Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly. '

(9)     GOOD AMBITION 
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Because its the only profession where u can tell a woman
to
take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

(8)     SWIMSUIT

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

(7)   HAPPY MAN
 

What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.
Son on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of Playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of 'Missing Persons'

SEX

(6)   SERVICE

Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service and
sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service

(5)   ARAB MAN

An Arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.

'Your name please?'
'Abdul Aziz'

'Sex?'
'Six times a week!!'
 
'No, no, I mean male or female!'
'Doesn't matter, sometimes even camel!'