Laughter is an instant vacation

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM 1

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM


If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine


Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.


I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.


Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!


Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!


Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around.


This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

STAY TUNED FOR TUESDAY PROGRAM IN THE FORTHCOMING  ARTICLE.


SEEING YOU AGAIN


JAMES OH

understanding Engineers 8

Understanding Engineers Eight:

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."  He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?  I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.  Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer.  I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."


 

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS 7

Understanding Engineers Seven: 

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS 6

Understanding Engineers Six:   

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." 
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.  Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" 




Laugh it out loud. Sorry if you are engineer.

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS 5

Understanding Engineers Five: 

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

understanding Engineers 4

Laugh it out loudly and it is good for you.

Understanding Engineers Four: 

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.  Civil engineers build targets.

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS 3

Understanding Engineers Three: 

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.  The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys?  We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper.  Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?  They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes.  That's a group of blind firemen.  They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad.  I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea.  I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Hi everyone,

Trust you will have another good laugh.

Understanding Engineers Two: 

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers One: 
 
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?" 

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." 

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."