Memoirs of IMH -(Institute of Mental Health) 6

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

Greetings from this blog. Hope you find this post well and in high spirit.

We are almost coming to end this mini series. This post begin with :-


Record VI

One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...How? I think I'm a chicken since the day I was born...."

Doctor: "Wah! That's very serious...Why do you only come and seek treatment now?"

Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the eggs..."


Trust you have a good laugh and stay healthy. Medical bills not cheap nowadays.


James Oh

Memoirs of IMH -(Institute of Mental Health) 5

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

The post is part of mini series of IMH and trust you will have a good laugh.




Record V

Two patients escape from the IMH. They climbed up a tree and one of them fell from the tree and started rolling on the ground.

After a while, the patient below shouted to the one on top: "Hey! How come you are not coming down yet?"

The patient on top replied: "No. no...I can't...I'm not ripe yet"


Ha! ha ! good reason and is it sounds familiar?


James Oh

Memoirs of IMH -(Institute of Mental Health) 4

Dear my loving readers and visitors,



Record IV

A nurse saw a patient writing a letter. She got curious and went to take a peek. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.

Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?"

Patient: "I'm writing a letter to myself...."

Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a letter to himself?)

So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"

Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter, how would I know??"

Very good one. Trust you too have a good laugh.

James Oh

Memoirs of IMH -(Institute of Mental Health) 3

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

This post is from the mini series of IMH and trust you will enjoy it.

Record III

IMH has an old lady who wears black, carries a black umbrella and squats at the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine.

The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her but decided to understand her behavior first.

So, the doctor also wears black and carries a black umbrella; squatted besides her everyday.

The days go by...the two of them squatted side-by-side without a single exchange of word. After one solid month, the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"

Ha !!!! Trust you too have some good laughs too.

Cheers and have a lovely day,

James Oh
James Oh

Memoirs of IMH -(Institute of Mental Health) 2

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

As promised yesterday, I present you the record 2.

Record II

A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ears off, what will happen to you?"

Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."

Doctor: "Hmm...that's normal...so if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen then?"

Patient: "I will not be able to see..."

The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"

Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."

Trust you have a good laugh. Stay tuned for record 3.


Cheers and have a lovely day,

James Oh

Memoirs of IMH -(Institute of Mental Health) 1

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

This week I am going to share with a mini series of Memoirs of IMH and trust you will have some good laughs.

Record I

Patient A: "So how... this book not bad yah?"

Patient B: "Yah agree, excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense, sharp and concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art - too many character names to remember!!!"

Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you put the telephone book back to the original place?"

This story will continue on next post tomorrow. So stay tuned!

Looking forward to seeing you again.

Cheers and have a lovely day,

James Oh

Just for a laugh

Dear my loving friends and visitors,

Just begin our day with a good laugh.

Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts..... ..

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him......"Take me.... Young man... Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!!"...And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!


Thanks for your time and trust you have a good laugh.

look forward to seeing you again.

James oh

MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons 5 (Last series)

Dear loving readers and visitors,

This post will be my last of this mini series of MBA.

AS usual, let us begin our day with some laughs....

LESSON 5

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.

To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.

MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE".

Trust you are only have good laugh, but also learn a good lesson as well.

Have a lovely weekend and look forward to seeing you again,

James Oh

MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons 4

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

After last few series of morning jokes, trust you have a good day. Let us to have fun and some laughs....



LESSON 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to be! Come, and then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT....,


MORAL : "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"



Ha! Ha! That's the voice I heard. Right?


Seeing you tomorrow and now back to work,


Cheers and have a great day,
James Oh

MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons 3

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

Let begin our day with a good laugh,


LESSON 3

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.

The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you .. Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! Etc......??? "

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he.

The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I?!"

The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

MORAL : "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"


Trust you have a wonderful time and learn a good lesson here.

Look forward to seeing you again,

James Oh

MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons 2

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

Trust you have a good laugh to begin your day with:-

LESSON 2

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive.

He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."

MORAL : "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"


Have a great day as you already have a good start,

James Oh

MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons

Dear loving readers and visitors,

I write to share with you a series of MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons, which I have received from one of my old school friends.

LESSON 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.

They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff... And he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff¡-. And he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"


Trust you have a good laugh.


Have a good day,

James

3 stages of life

Dear my loving readers and visitors,


Hahahaha....so true....so enjoy a bit here and there....by the time you are old.....you have no energy to what you desired of.....



We have 3 stages of life where most people have to go through………..

Teen age:
Have Time + Energy …but No Money








Working Age:
Have Money + Energy …but No Time




Old age:
Have Time + Money …but no Energy

From the previous blog at http://dailyajoke.blogspot.com

Dear my loving readers and visitors,

Please be informed that this blog shall be construed as continuing from my blog as stated in the link below:-

http://dailyajoke.blogspot.com

As far as I am concerns, this blog shall be replaced the above post and its functions shall be remained unchanged.

Any inconvenience caused is greatly regretted.

Have a fruitful day,

James Oh