Physio was an intelligent boy. After doing a physiotherapy course abroad for 3 years, he returned home and set up a clinic in his hometown.

He asked a designer to make a new name plate to be hung on the wall outside the clinic. The next morning, when he went to his clinic, he was pleased to find that the name plate was already put up. But he was greatly annoyed by the wordings on the plate : TUKANG URUT.  He went to the designer and took him to task.

"How can you insult my profession? 'Tukang Urut' means masseur in Malay. I am a physiotherapist and not a masseur! Make sure you change the name right now! And see that the word is spelt correctly!" Physio said angrily.

The designer apologized and promised to make the changes immediately. Without further delay, he proceeded to change the name but found that the word "physiotherapist' was too long. So he broke it up into three words to make it easier to read.

The next morning, Physio hit the roof when he saw the new name. On the name plate were written :

PHYSIO THE  RAPIST

One night my friends asked me to go out with them. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight. Hours passed and the beers went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m.(a bit loaded) I headed home.

Just as I walked in the door the cookoo clock chimmed 3 times. Afraid that my wife would wake up I quickly cucooed 9 more times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with a quick witted solution.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I had got in. I said: "MIDNIGHT, Like I Said!" She seemed fine with my answer, so I thought that I had gotten away with it. Then my wife promptly told me that we needed to get a new cuckoo clock, I asked why and she said: "Well, last night our cuckoo clock cuckooed 3 times, said oh crap, cuckooed 4 times, cleared its throat, cuckooed 3 more times, giggled, cuckooed 2 more times, then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

Your daily jokes

A man is driving down a country road when his car breaks down. As he gets out to find a phone, it starts to rain. About a mile down the road he sees a farm house with the door half open and he goes in.

To his right there's a woman sitting by an open window pulling on her breasts and pointing out of the window. To his left a man sits in the corner holding an umbrella and a condom.

The man leaves thinking they're both crazy. At the next farm house the lady of the house lets him in and he tells what he saw. The lady of the house says: "Don't worry, they're not crazy, neither one can talk, so she was saying 'go milk the cow' and he was saying 'f*ck you, it's raining outside!"

British Humour 5

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor  balcony shaking a carpet. 
I shouted up to him, "what's up Abdul, won't it start?"

British Humour 4

British Humour

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. 

How could anyone stoop so low.

British Humour 3

British Humour

=============================================

Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.

=============================================

British Humour 2

British Humour

During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree. 

A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".

British Humour 1

British Humour

POLITICALLY INCORRECT 

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque....
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

(2)   NAMES OF WIVES A man had 4 wives, and he called his... 4th wife..... Baby doll 3rd wife..... China doll 2nd wife.... Barbie doll 1st wife..... Panadol !

A man is driving down a country road when his car breaks down. As he gets out to find a phone, it starts to rain. About a mile down the road he sees a farm house with the door half open and he goes in.

To his right there's a woman sitting by an open window pulling on her breasts and pointing out of the window. To his left a man sits in the corner holding an umbrella and a condom.

The man leaves thinking they're both crazy. At the next farm house the lady of the house lets him in and he tells what he saw. The lady of the house says: "Don't worry, they're not crazy, neither one can talk, so she was saying 'go milk the cow' and he was saying 'f*ck you, it's raining outside!"