SENSE OF HUMOR MAKES THING EASY

STOP AND CHECK

A man was brought before the judge and charged with 

NECROPHILIA (making love to a dead person).



The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never 

heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one 

good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the 

jail keys in the toilet?"



The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons: 

1. She was my WIFE!!!

2. I didn't KNOW she was DEAD!!! and

3. She ALWAYS acted that WAY!!!"


Judge released him from sentence and advised everyone at 

the Court Room:


SO LADIES TRY TO MOVE A LITTLE DURING THE GAME!!!

And GUYS, IF THERE IS NO MOVEMENT, STOP 

IMMEDIATELY AND CHECK IF SHE IS ALIVE.!!

THE 3 G-STRINGS ; ERIC TEO

The 3 G-Strings

The 3 G-Strings for Humans! Nope! It’s not this G-string that you’re thinking of. But good try (put on). Neither does it mean Gays Got Guts. I’m referring to some very serious G’s here.

A very funny good evening dear friends…

Life can be very simple; if you remember to apply the Golden Rule: to treat others as we would like to be treated. It is still the rule of gold, but the gold has been tarnished; and needs some cleansing, scrubbing and polishing.

What I’m about to share with you tonight are the 3 G’s which can string, twine and wind human relationships together. It is such a simple formula that you will smack your forehead and laugh at yourself when I’m done.

The first G is ‘Greetings’. The most universal greeting in the world is Hello. Hello opens up and jazzes up a person. Everyone likes to be greeted, noticed and recognised. Therefore, this word can literally open up a new world, a new friendship, a new relationship.

Hello can happen in the form of an earnest nod, an eager wave of the hand, a twinkle of the eyes, and even a tender smile. You can also use it as a pick-up line. “Hello, you look familiar, have we met before?” “Hello there! Is that a rocket in your pocket or you’re happy just to see me baby!?”

However, for such a simple thing to do, it doesn’t come easily to some Chinese. Greet a Chinese and this is probably what you get. “Hello, how are you?” “Do I know you?” “No. I’m just saying hello.” “Do I owe you money?” “No. Just saying hi to you.” “Siao ah! Crazy!”

The second G is ‘Glorify’. Once you have done your greetings, glorify the person with a compliment. Praise the bugger like he or she has never been praised before, “Wow! [NAME] Your skin is so smooth, just like my little nephew’s backside skin!” “[NAME] I like the diamond earring on your right ear. You’re such a chic and stylo-milo gay guy!”

Now tell me, who doesn’t want or like to be glorified, praised and encouraged, except for most Asians? “Oh! You look very radiant today!” “Where got? Must be the plastic surgery I just had with SK5 lah.”  “Your son is such a sweet and intelligent boy.” “No lah. He’s very stupid one.” “Okay lah, if you say so, then he’s stupid loh.”

When people glorify and pay you a compliment, what do you say? Just say thank you without beating yourself up. It’s called self-bashing! Stop that already!

The third G is ‘Gratitude’. It is how we show appreciation, blessings and grace. Whatever we appreciate appreciates. The more grateful we are, the more we will receive. Yes. It’s as easy as ice-kacang ABC, kindergarten 123.

The best and most universal word used in representing gratitude is thank you. Thank you is a very powerful form of prayer. When we are grateful for the people and things we have in life, we are reminded of the blessings we already have. This gratefulness prayer lifts us to a higher state of grace.

I remember being in a Chinese restaurant and saying thank you to the waiter. “Huh! What?” “I said thank you.” “What? Tak yue?” Step oil? Tekan minyak?  “Xie xie” “Aiya! No need lah. It’s okay one” What a typical Asian response. “Oi! Silly bird! Can’t you just say you’re welcome sir.”

There you go, the 3 G-Strings for Humans. Together now… Greetings… Glorify… Gratitude… With these 3 G’s, we can literally change the world for the better, one subject matter, one individual, one situation at a time. Next time you go out and meet people, remember to take off your G-string (take off); and put on the 3 G’s of greetings, glorify and gratitude that string human relationships (put on the head), together… 

FROM ERIC TEO

CAUTIOUS FOR THOSE PREGNANT

One of my FB contacts share his joke as follow:-

I did not forget today's joke but was so busy this morning... Anyway, I remember this joke 

which our Pastor also shared recently which really gave me a good laugh and perhaps can 

break the monotony of your day :-)



Three men were chatting away and all their wives happen to be pregnant. The first two 

men's wives were in their late pregnancies while the third man's wife was expecting only 

recentLy.


And the first man said that his wife will be giving birth to twins soon probably because she 

was reading 'Tale of two cities' during her pregnancy...


Then the second man remarked that his wife will be giving birth to a triplet soon! And he 

thought it was because recently she was reading 'The Three Musketeers'


Upon hearing this, the third man started to run and the other two men stopped him and 

asked him why? And he shouted...

"Let me go! She's reading 'Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves'!"

Please share if you enjoy it..

FORGET THE PAST AND MOVE ON

A wise man once sat in the audience and cracked a joke - all of them laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again & a little less people laughed this time... He cracked the same one again & no one laughed !!! Then he smiled and said ''when you can't laugh on the same joke again & again

then why do you keep crying over the same thing over & over again''   FORGET the past and MOVE ON ...

GUESS WHO IS ROBBER?

BACK TO SCHOOL

HOW DO YOU BREATHE ....

LAUGHING GOOD (IN MANDARIN)